Our 2-year-old friend, Tate, contemplates the temporal nature of bubbles!
As graphic facilitators, we go into many conversations blind to the real depth of the content and unaware of the outcome.
As facilitators, it is imperative to keep our ego in check.
It is a very Zen way of working.
Keeping the Ego—representing reason, common sense, decision-making and personal ambition—sublimated to the needs of the moment is key to participating fully.
Why?
Ego defense mechanisms
are psychological strategies used by humans to cope with reality and to maintain self-image. They are often used by the ego when our unconscious behavior conflicts with reality and the behaviors of those around us: usually driven by fear and desire.
The real trick as a facilitator is to achieve a level of mindfulness that is aware of the suffering and needs of all parties, now and into the future, while remaining unattached.
This article from FacilitatorU.com shares a wonderful story of how a 2-year-old became a teacher on the importance of mindfulness and joy.
The Quality of the Process Determines the Outcome
One way to stretch and go beyond where we have been is by knowing that we truly don't know and unlearning what we think we known for certain. Certainty is certainly an illusion.
We want to learn and grow, however, acquiring knowledge is not learning. Know you have learned when your focus shifts from outcomes to process, from destination to journey and from stress to the idea that creates it in the first place.
Application
A friend of ours moved to Stamford with her 2 year old. At the time she had not found a daycare she was comfortable with. I volunteered to help out for a short time, till she found something decent. I thought the 2 year old would be fun and game just like my children were when they were toddlers. I am not too sure if this has to do with the generation gap or something else, but the little one had a mind of his own and did not take no for an answer. Wait a minute, I thought to myself, my children did not act out till they were in their teens.
I spent a week with him playing, interacting, coloring, and disciplining myself more than him.
I learned a lot about my own ego which is similar to a 2 year old. It has a mind of its own and does not take no for an answer. For instance, when I know it is not appropriate to tell my daughter what to do at age 21, my ego does not listen and initiates a conversation that does not go anywhere. Or when I know that I am exhausted and use some time to relax, my ego finds justifications to keep going only to find myself exhausted later.
On the brighter side, the toddler like nature, taught me to have fun, play and continuously scheme up little joys in life.
My little teacher has taught me to let go of wanting to learn and work all day. He gave me a glimpse of my ego. I was actually able to sit with him and not worry about a load of work that was waiting for my attention. When I would return to work, filled with play and rest, work was completed with effortless ease.
It was a fun one week filled with unlearning and letting go of self importance.
Action
As facilitators, it is imperative to keep our ego in check. What certainties are being held strongly by your ego?
What are you willing and able to do to let go of certainties?
We cannot be certain what tomorrow will bring, however, we can be certain to continuously improve and be one with the process that leads to the future.
Teleclass from FacilitatorU.com
The August teleclass Creating Presence and Spontaneity is currently in progress and is being offered again in September. Please click here to register for the September 8th, 10th & 12th class.
About the Author
Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is an Facilitator's Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Does leading or participating in groups frustrate you? Subscribe to his free weekly ezine at www.MasterFacilitatorJournal.com and contact him here to schedule a free exploratory coaching session.
©2008. Steve Davis, www.MasterFacilitatorJournal.com. All rights reserved.
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