The Instructoart of Airline Safety

Via Josh Rubin's Cool Hunting, I found Matthew Vescovo, the artist and self-proclaimed "master of the obvious" behind award-winning MTV spots and the book Instructoart, which is full of wry observations illustrated with vector graphics, airplane pamphlet-style.

My favorites include how to air kiss and how to do the Hokie Pokie. Listen to the rap version of the party favorite.

Now then. Any world-weary travelling designer tends to notice the unique diversity of on-board "In Case of Emergency" pamphlets that abound.

Each airline, from Korean Air to Kentucky Air, is required to illuminate what the hapless chattle-- er, passengers--should do in the unlikely event of a sudden loss in cabin pressure or, even more exciting, an evacuation of the fuselage after a crash landing at sea.

According to most of these colorful and informative graphics, all one needs to survive in, say, the frigid North Atlantic, is a butt-sized piece of foam with a slim elastic strap. Also, there appearantly is no mahem, trampling, flashing lights, choas, flames, blood, sweat or tears.

In a brochure published by AviGraf, a firm specializing in airplane safety pamphlets, we learn that on June 27, 2000, the National Transportation Safety Board released a safety study on the emergency evacuation of commercial airplanes. They learned the stunning fact that passengers' attention to oral safety briefings and the instructions in safety cards.

The NTS Board admonished the airlines to "explore the creative and effective methods that use state-of-the-art technology to convey safety information to passengers."

My advice: hire Rockstar Games, makers of such hyper-real adventure video games as the Grand Theft Auto series and Max Payne.

More advice: if you ever want to fly again don't look at these videos of real airplane mishaps from the House of Rapp.

Comments

[Peter Durand]

From my Aunt Nellie and Uncle Lee, wrote:

"With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in.

And then the trouble started.

Don't groan. You know it's funny."

[Peter Durand]

In light of the Air France distaster this week, I am stunned at the efficiency and success of the flight crew in evacuating their passengers, and a bit ashamed by the breezy snarkiness of my post.

Over 300 people survived a situation in which the largest aircraft in the world slid off the runway upon landing, burst into flames and was utterly destroyed in less than 20 minutes.

The crew managed to save every life by getting out of the airplane in less than three minutes!